Twistd Humor

October 11, Last Year

Eight Things That Piss Me Off!!!

1. People who point at their wrist when asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy!! Do I point to my crotch when I ask you where the bathroom is???

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the remote control because they don't want to have to get up to turn the channels anyway! Isn't that a contradiction or an oxymoron or something???

3.When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too!"..Blow me!!! What good is a damn piece of cake if you can't eat it?? What should I do, eat someone else's cake??

4. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Well, no shit!! Why the fuck would you keep looking for something you already found? Do people do this?? Who and where are they???

5. When people say, while watching a movie in a theater, "did you see that?!?!" No dickhead, I paid 8 bucks to come to a theater and stare up at the damn ceiling, what did you come here for???

6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

7. When commercials advertise something "new and improved". Which is it? If it's new, there has never been anything before it. If it's improved, then there must have been something before, hence making it old, contrary to new!!!

8. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you knew how fast you were going. You should know asshole... you're the one that pulled me over!!!!

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